Baltimore, MD -- A team of neuroscientists based at Johns Hopkins University has announced successful completion of a study designed to investigate the operation of theism, a mysterious and often misunderstood mental aberration unique to the human species and afflicting a large percentage of its population.
Building on the discovery last year of a so-called 'god module' in the human brain, Dr. Cyrus Naptik led the team. "The god module hypothesis was very exciting since it presented us with a direction for our research," he explained. "We are trying to delineate the intellectual gymnastics required of people who suffer from theism yet still use common sense in other areas of their lives."
The progress of previous research was hampered by scientists' lack of knowledge of any distinct locus of theistic neurological activity. The god module provided the focus for the latest study, which mapped its behaviour to decipher the operation of theist brains.
'Logic' of Theism Uncovered
Early on, Dr. Naptik's team realized that the module is "a brain within a brain," with its own memory center (dogma) and reasoning system (faith). They painstakingly waded through the detritus of dogma and faith to extract the fundamental pseudo-logical rules that control the functioning of the god module and thus the theist brain.
Four rules were identified:
The god module acts as a gatekeeper to the conscious thought of the host brain, eventually conditioning it to comply unconsciously, too.
The researchers were initially self-congratulatory upon formulating the four rules, but unanswered questions remained. For example, all but the most advanced theists studied were stumped during examination and assessment of their god module-enhanced creativity. Obviously, "Be creative" was not included in their rule-set.
Module Types: Client, Server and Command
The theory required modification to account for this and other anomalies.
A hierarchical model was proposed. Now the dominant theory of theism, it includes three primary types of god module.
The original four rules are ascribed to only the rarest and most powerful, the command module. Subservient to it is the more common server module, in which "Be creative" is replaced by "Consult command module." Most common, and lowest in the hierarchy, is the client module, which instructs the host brain to "Consult server module" when faced with contradiction.
The affliction of theism, understood in this way, adapts to conceptual opposition by propagating creative interpretations of dogma and contortions of faith. They originate in a command version of the brain's god module, proceed to the server modules and, finally, to the highly deferential client modules.
The study found some people in whom the area of the brain occupied by the god module was not commandeered by theism. Either it was never infected, or it had been purged of the malicious meme by the only known cure: doubt. The neurological resources in the area were free to be used seamlessly with the rest of their brains.
"The fact that these individuals are called non-theists," Dr. Naptik said, "indicates just how common theism has become. We suggest that it is more appropriate to call them healthy."
