Tipickle, Theistica -- When the jury returned a "Not Guilty" verdict in the trial for murder of James Edward Sampson, it was a dramatic conclusion to a case that captivated a nation because it means the jury believes there is a reasonable chance God is directly culpable in the murder of the victim, John Fisher.
Fisher was killed by multiple stab wounds to the chest with a large kitchen knife in plain sight of several hundred people in the audience watching him perform a one-man play being filmed for television on a well-lit stage.
The prosecution, led by Stan Schift, systematically presented what all legal experts considered an airtight case: film and eyewitness accounts of the murder, the murder weapon bearing Sampson's bloody fingerprints, and his blood-splattered clothes. Needless to say, the blood matched the victim's.
Over Schift's objections, Judge Joanne Lax permitted Sampson to bring what pundits coined the "Divine Defense." Acting as his own attorney, Sampson argued that God was framing him for the crime by miraculously creating an overwhelming body of physical and testimonial evidence that pointed to him as the culprit.
Sampson didn't claim anything as mundane as being told by God to kill Fisher, or being a vessel through which God effected his will, but that God himself killed Fisher and used supernatural powers to make him appear to have committed the crime. He declined to speculate about how or why God framed him.
The one piece of evidence submitted by Sampson in his own defense was a copy of the Bible. When Schift objected, demanding reasons for the Bible's relevance to the case, Sampson relied on its use in the oath ritual by which every witness swears to tell "the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth."
"Surely," he said, "The book used to protect the Court from false testimony is itself admissible into evidence in every case. And, of course, the truth of its contents is unassailable."
After admitting the Bible, Judge Lax took "judicial notice" of God, freeing Sampson from the burden of proving God's existence. He was then able to put his expert theological witnesses on the stand and establish three principles on which to base his Divine Defense.
The principles were: One, God exists and is able to perform miracles. Two, human beings are not able to understand how or why God performs miracles. Three, there is ample precedent for God's use of miracles to deceive. In his final argument, Sampson made his defense clear.
"I don't know how or why God chose me of all people to frame for this grisly murder," he said. "But things are not as they seem. God deceives us by showing us a universe billions of years old that appears to have evolved naturally, but from the Bible we know it was created in seven days just a few thousand years ago. With that same faith you must acquit me.
"You must not ask how or why, for the ways of God are mysterious and beyond human knowledge. You must ask yourselves, 'Is my faith so weak that I can say, without reasonable doubt, that the man accused of the crime committed it, and that God did not?' That is the essence of your decision."
The jury deliberated for only thirty minutes before returning its verdict, which Schift characterized as "idiotic but not unexpected." He said that the case "should lead to a reconsideration of whether people of faith are fit for jury duty."
Outside the courthouse, a media frenzy surrounded the freed prisoner who said only that he thanked God for the outcome.
